Jul. 4th, 2020

i have read once that it's more accurate to describe (closeted) trans girls as girls pretending to be boys than as boys pretending to be girls. (the same goes for trans boys, of course.) because, you know, performing the wrong gender. i have found this to be a useful way of thinking about gender that i can relate to my own experiences.

i reread Leviathan by Scott Westerfeld, and i keep thinking about disguises and pretending to be the wrong gender. one of the main characters is a cis girl who passing herself off as a boy in order to serve in the air force. of course there are obvious parallels with transmasc experiences, but there are also moments when she gives off big transfem vibes in my opinion. it's interesting to see when you look for it.

last week when i was still lying awake at like 01:00, i suddenly got hit with some food inspiration. i got around to cooking that this week, and it turned out really good! it's a red curry with beans, carrots and spinach, and i'm extremely pleased with the seasonings. it needs a little tweaking before i can write down the recipe, but for this kind of result i'm willing to sacrifice half a night's sleep now and then.

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taina

July 2025

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